A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her..
Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.’
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big
enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, ‘ Do these turkeys get any bigger?’
The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead..’
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the officer said.
The kid replied, ”Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
(tipstack till Tommy)