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Archive for the ‘Dagens bildinsändare’ Category

Annonser

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– i Vällingby, av alla ställen.

Lycka till, gumman.

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(tipstack till Malin)

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WHITE WOMEN:First date: 
You get to kiss her goodnight. 

Second date: 
You have a good grope and make out a bit. 

Third date: 
You get to have sex but only but only when
she wants to and only in the missionary position. 

IRISH WOMEN:First Date: 
You both get blind drunk and have sex. 

Second Date: 
You both get blind drunk and have sex. 

20th Anniversary: 
You both get blind drunk and have sex. 

ITALIAN WOMEN:First Date: 
You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant. 

Second Date: 
You meet her parents and her Mum makes spaghetti & meatballs. 

Third Date: 
You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring. 

5th Anniversary: 
You already have five kids together and hate the thought of having sex. 

6th Anniversary: 
You find yourself a mistress. 

CHINESE WOMEN: First date: 
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens. 

Second date: 
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again. 

Third date: 
You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already realised nothing 
is ever going to happen. 

INDIAN WOMEN: First date: 
Meet her parents. 

Second date: 
Set the date of the wedding. 

Third date: 
Wedding night. 

BLACK WOMEN:First Date: 
You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. 

Second Date: 
You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. 

Third Date: 
You get to pay her rent. 

Tenth Date: 
She’s pregnant by someone other than you. 

MEXICAN WOMEN:First Date: 
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car. 

Second Date: 
She’s pregnant. 

Third Date: 
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandmother, her sister’s boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home in the back streets of Cancun.

JEWISH WOMEN:First Date: 
You will have to spend all your money to impress. 

Second Date: 
You will take a loan to keep up the image. 

Third Date : 
Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier. 

ARAB WOMEN:First Date: 
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out. 

Second Date: 
Guy is shot dead.

There is no Third Date.
(Tipstack till Paula)  

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(tipstack till Paula)

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Morronbön

Förr i världen började skoldan med en morronbön. Själv slapp jag eftersom jag var jude och fick komma en kvart senare till Palmis. Tycker så här i efterhand att jag gott hade kunnat stå ut med en morronbön jag också.

Nuförtiden brukar jag börja dan med en morronbön, vänd mot faxen.

Foto: Helene Rothstein

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Tips

043

Ett litet tips så här på fredagskvällen:

Messa den här bilden till nån som du gillar och så skriver du:

”Magasin har en utställning som handlar om dig.”

Fiffigt, va?

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